


Party Crashers

by The_Lady_Crane



Series: Among Friends [12]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Bad Ideas, Beaches, Established Relationship, Het, Humor, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Nudity, Public Nudity, Secret Relationship, Sexual Humor, Slash, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15859452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Lady_Crane/pseuds/The_Lady_Crane
Summary: Ike has an idea, and it leads to some very awkward situations for everyone involved.





	Party Crashers

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this as a drabble for practice, but now I want to post it. I'm in a slump lately, but hopefully this will make someone laugh.

Ike had a plan.

Sometimes, this wasn’t such a good thing. When the mercenary had found Meta Knight and Marth in the library and announced this, his two companions had shared a suspicious glance. They both remembered when Ike had dragged them into town for something called Black Friday shopping. They both still had the scars.

Today, though, there was a particular gleam in Ike’s eye when he asked them to follow him. “I learned something really interesting from Samus,” he said, waiting for them to put away the chess set.

“It’s not another sojourn into the village, is it?” Marth asked as he rose to join the mercenary.

“Nope. We won’t have to go any farther than the castle… technically.”

“Technically?” Meta Knight glanced at Marth again, and the prince looked as worried as he was.

“Just come on,” Ike said, beginning to walk down the hallway. The other two followed him, fearing that they had no choice.

“Where are we going?” Marth asked as they passed through the main entrance hall. Straight ahead was a long corridor that housed several common rooms – the training room, the armory, the dining hall, and the storage area.

“You’ll see,” Ike said. He led them past the armory and the training room, both of which seemed to be busy tonight. “Don’t want anyone to hear us.” They passed the entrance to the mess hall, where Dedede and Bowser were sitting with a plate of cookies and a board game. The communal showers were full as people wound down from their evening training. Inside the women’s locker room, Peach’s bubbly laughter rang out in response to a story that Rosalina was telling her.

At first, it appeared as if Ike was going to take them to the storage rooms. There were three of them, all for various purposes. Ike passed up the wooden doors, though, coming instead to a large tapestry depicting the castle and the surrounding areas. Here, Ike paused and looked behind them, making sure they hadn’t been followed.

“OK, take a look at this…” Ike pushed the tapestry aside to reveal a metal door. Stepping through it, the three swordsmen found themselves in a small, dusty room that was barely larger than a closet. They only just fit inside without bumping into each other. A bald lightbulb overhead illuminated a computer terminal with a small monitor. Marth inspected it while Ike shut the door carefully.

“What is it?” Meta Knight asked.

“This is the maintenance entrance to the stages,” Ike said, pressing a button to turn the machine on. The display lit up with the normal stage selection screen. “From here, we can get into any of the arenas. It’s used for repairs and things like that.”

“Very interesting,” Marth said. “But why would this be of any use to us?”

That expression of excitement came onto Ike’s face again. “When you use this terminal, it doesn’t occupy the arena. You warp to the backstage area.”

“Ike…” Meta Knight didn’t know whether to be amused or incredulous. He thought he knew where this was going, but the prince seemed oblivious.

“Why would we want to do that?”

“Did you ever want to have sex on the beach?” Ike grinned, and Marth’s cheeks glowed red.

“We can’t do it on a stage,” Meta Knight said firmly. Of all of Ike’s harebrained ideas, this was the stupidest, he thought.

“Not on a stage,” Ike said. “Behind the scenes. Nobody’ll even know we’re there, and there are plenty of places to hide.”

“I don’t think I can, ah, get ‘in the mood’ if there are people around…” Marth said, though the thought was a little exciting. He had discovered a bit of an exhibitionistic kink during an incident involving a phone conversation with Pit, and the idea of almost getting caught was a turn-on.

Ike could pick up on the prince’s interest like a bloodhound on the trail of a rabbit, and he leaned over to put an arm around Marth’s shoulders. “You don’t want to try it?” His warm breath ghosted across Marth’s ear, and the prince shuddered in pleasure. “Nobody’ll see or hear anything.”

“Well…”

“I can see at least a dozen outcomes of this, and none of them are good,” Meta Knight said.

“Fine, then me and the prince will just have to go without you.”

Meta Knight’s eyes narrowed. Ike was trying to goad him along using jealousy, and it was working. Ike smirked, knowing full well that Meta Knight was now eyeing the hand that slid down Marth’s back. “So, what do you say, prince? Wanna do it?”

Marth didn’t notice the tension building between his companions. He was imagining what it would feel like to make love in the surf, or under a shady tree in the realm of Wispy Woods. “I suppose… if nobody sees us…”

Ike’s grin widened, and he threw Meta Knight a sidelong glance in triumph. Taking the controls on the console, he selected Delfino. A circle of blue light appeared on the concrete floor, and Ike gestured to it graciously. “After you, Your Highness.”

With an apologetic glance at Meta Knight, Marth stepped into the circle and disappeared. Ike followed, waving cheerfully. Meta Knight stood in the empty room for just a moment before, cursing to himself, he too stepped into the light.

The sight that greeted Meta Knight upon opening his eyes was familiar, but it was strange seeing it from a different angle. Delfino Plaza was as bright and sunny as ever, but the sound of the waves was now easier to hear without the rush of air that usually overtook the senses when flying around on the stage. “You decided to join us!” Ike said, though he didn’t seem too surprised. “Over here, Meta Knight.”

Meta Knight followed Ike and Marth through the bright stone plaza. Temperatures on the stages were regulated, but here they were outside of the climate-controlled bubble that delineated the arena boundaries. It was warm here, with a dampness in the air that weighed down Meta Knight’s cape. Marth and Ike seemed to be feeling it more keenly, being fully clothed, and both were soon tugging at their capes and armor. They walked onto the beach with their heavier equipment draped over their arms.

“Here’s a good spot,” Ike said as they came to a shaded area covered by a rock outcropping. White sand and black volcanic rock mingled here, and the waves lapped at the edge of the shade. It was away from the town, and not a soul could be seen on the beach.

Meta Knight wasn’t comfortable enough to take off any of his equipment, so he stood by and watched as the two humans undressed. Ike’s things were tossed over a rock, away from the water, and Marth piled his clothes and armor neatly beside Ike’s. Both left their shorts on, and Marth spread out his cape as a makeshift beach blanket.

“Now…” Ike leaned over Marth as the prince sat down, and Marth shoved at his chest playfully.

“You want to jump right in already?” Marth asked. “Why not enjoy the beach for a while?”

“I’d rather enjoy you,” Ike muttered into Marth’s ear, and Marth laughed as Ike fell on top of him and began kissing up and down his neck.

Some of Meta Knight’s reserve was crumbling. The playful mood was catching him up, as well, and he started to tug off his pauldrons as Marth’s laugh turned into a gasp. He had never done it on a beach before. He wondered if his cynicism – his thought about how unpleasant it would feel to have sex with sand and seaweed clinging to everything – was holding him back from a great new experience.

With his equipment placed beside Ike’s and Marth’s, and his mask set safely to one side, he joined the other two by lying at Marth’s other side and biting his shoulder. Marth seemed only too pleased to find himself the center of attention, and he held his arms out to embrace both of his lovers, closing his eyes with a soft smile on his face.

They had hardly gone far at all when they heard voices carrying across the beach.

Alarmed, Meta Knight was the first to leap to his feet. He grabbed his mask as he rushed to the edge of the rock and peered out. His blood froze when he saw two pale figures making their way towards them, both sporting bikinis and blonde hair – Princesses Peach and Rosalina.

There was no time to get dressed. Meta Knight signaled to his friends as he ran back towards them. They were on guard immediately. Meta Knight grabbed his things, but was pushed into the back of the outcropping before he could get his cape. His protest was lost as Ike hoisted him up and threw him behind some rocks, and the two humans joined him, just barely managing to pull everything with them.

They ended up in a jumbled heap. Ike peeked over the top of their hiding place and saw that Peach and Rosalina had just come around the corner, beach towels under their arms. He groaned and sat back, jumping a little as Marth gasped in pain and pulled his ankle out from under Ike, while Meta Knight rubbed his sore head. “Did it occur to you two,” Meta Knight said with barely-repressed anger in his voice, “that we could have simply pretended to be enjoying an innocent day at the beach?”

“Dammit…” Ike groaned, and Marth slumped against the rock, his face blazing red.

“Let’s just go back,” Meta Knight said, standing up, but Marth pulled him back down.

“We can’t! Ike and I…” Meta Knight glanced at them, and groaned to himself. Both humans had lost their shorts sometime before the mad dash for cover.

“Where is my cape?” Meta Knight asked. “We can warp out of here.”

Ike and Marth began looking around for the knight’s cape, which seemed to be lost amid the pile of clothing, capes, armor, and swords. “Is this it?” Ike held up a blue cloth, but Meta Knight shook his head.

“That is the prince’s cape.”

“No, mine is right here,” Marth said, indicating the fabric he had draped across his lap.

“Mine’s here,” Ike said, fingering his ragged red cape.

“Then whose is this?” Meta Knight frowned.

“It’s mine…”

The three of them turned towards the tropical shrubbery behind them. There, concealed by the leaves and fronds, was a face that mirrored Marth’s in terms of how red it was. “Lucina?” Ike said incredulously.

Lucina looked as if she didn’t know what she wanted to do. Her eyes flickered between the three men, while her arms wrapped around her knees, which were pressed up to conceal her bare breasts. She seemed embarrassed, angry, and confused at the same time. She held out her hand, and Ike numbly gave her the cape, which she quickly wrapped around herself.

“I have to know,” said another new voice, “what you three were doing here.” And then, of all people, Captain Falcon emerged from the ferns, just as naked as Lucina was.

“I told you to stay hidden!” Lucina hissed.

“What’s the point? The cat’s out of the bag,” Captain Falcon waved off her fury. “So, what brings you three here? Had the same idea we did, eh?”

“Well, ah…” Marth was trying to look anywhere but at Falcon and Lucina. He had never known it was possible to feel this embarrassed.

“We did,” Ike said, crossing his arms almost defiantly. “But someone came along, and we had to hide.”

Meta Knight refrained from pointing out that they didn’t have to. But now that they were here, it seemed as if they weren’t going to escape any time soon. A quick glance over the rocks confirmed that his cape, Ike’s and Marth’s shorts, and one of Ike’s boots had been left behind. The two princesses were chattering away down by the surf, wading into the water, their giggles carrying over the sound of the waves. Meta Knight ducked back down, and leaned against the rock. He may as well settle in.

The area they were hiding in was just a small clearing between the rocks and the trees. There was barely enough room in the empty space for three of them. Unable to warp away and without any room to get dressed, all five Smashers sat back and tried to make the situation less awkward. Captain Falcon and Ike engaged in a casual discussion of battle tactics. Marth politely inquired about Lucina’s latest match. Meta Knight wanted to just kill himself right then and there.

Captain Falcon seemed to find the whole thing very funny. “I always knew there was something up between you three,” he said as the afternoon sun blazed overhead.

“What gave us away?” Ike asked.

“Nothing really, just the way you act around each other. You’re always together.” Captain Falcon took a drink out of a flask that had been found half-buried in the sand. “You two,” he nodded to Meta Knight and Ike, “follow him around,” he nodded to Marth, “like bodyguards or watchdogs. I always wondered what that was about.”

“And?” Ike said defensively.

“And nothing,” Captain Falcon said. “Just curious. ‘S your life, do what you want, I always say.”

“What about you two?” Ike asked. “When did this happen?”

Lucina was still refusing to look anyone in the eye, but she glowered at Captain Falcon as he said, “Couple of months ago. We hooked up on her birthday, and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”

“I always thought it was you and Samus,” Ike commented.

“Nah. Samus is hot and all, but she’s not interested in a relationship. Besides, as soon as I laid eyes on Lucina, my heart was stolen.” This earned him a sharp glare from Lucina, to which he responded by grinning.

Suddenly, something huge crashed through the underbrush, and four hands went to their sword hilts before they realized that Bowser had come rushing towards them. “Did I miss her?” he said frantically, shoving Marth and Ike aside as he hugged the rocks and peered over them. “Haha, nope! Still there!”

There was a moment of silence, in which everyone looked at Bowser in shock. He glanced back at them once, and did a double take when he seemed to realize they were there. “Hey, what are you guys doing here?” he asked. “You’re not spying on my Peach, are you?”

“No,” Marth frowned. “But what are you doing here?”

Bowser glanced at the clothing and armor piled around them like the leftovers of a clearance sale. “Sorry to crash your party, but I heard Peach was down here. I had to see her!” He turned back to look over the rocks, his tail swishing excitedly and bashing Meta Knight in the side.

“Do you mind watching from some other place?” Lucina said furiously.

“Why?” Bowser looked back again, and then his eyebrows rose. “Oh, wait, is this a skinny-dipping party?” His eyes lit up. “Is Peach gonna strip, too?!”

“Yeah,” Captain Falcon said. “So why don’t you go over there and get a closer look?” Maybe he would distract Peach and Rosalina while the five of them made their escape.

“Good idea!” Bowser grabbed at the piles of clothing, and ripped the capes out of Marth’s and Lucina’s hands. Before anyone could stop him, he had vaulted over the rocks and was pulling Meta Knight’s cape towards him.

“What the hell is he doing?!” Ike fumed, while Marth scrambled to cover himself with whatever Bowser hadn’t taken. Wrapped up in a banana leaf, Lucina crawled to the rocks so she could watch Bowser, too.

The king koopa was burrowed beneath the pile of stolen clothing and armor, and was making his way towards the two women lounging on the beach. “Does he think that’s a disguise or something?” Ike wondered.

“Looks like it,” Captain Falcon said, watching with the others in dumbstruck bemusement as Bowser inched his way across the sand. He looked like a sentient mountain of laundry.

It wasn’t likely that he would have gotten away with this disguise, but the seagulls abolished any chance he might have had. They began swarming him almost immediately. It wasn’t really clear where they had all come from. As soon as one landed on Bowser’s clothed back, five more appeared to join their companion. Bowser didn’t pay them any attention until they started to peck at the surcoat on top of the pile.

“Do you think they see him as a threat?” Marth asked.

“They’re probably going for the fish sticks in my pocket,” Ike said, amused.

Four pairs of eyes turned to look at him. “You keep fish sticks in your pocket?” Lucina said.

“I just brought some from lunch earlier,” Ike said. “I like to snack after…” Marth slapped him on the shoulder, ending that train of thought.

The seagulls were becoming frenzied. Bowser’s attempts to dislodge them, his vigorous shaking and rocking, were going totally unnoticed. He began to growl in frustration, and it wasn’t long before Peach and Rosalina turned to see what the commotion was about.

Both women stood up, Peach letting out a shriek of terror. “What is that thing?” the spectators could hear her ask, as she and Rosalina backed away towards the water.

“Stand back!” Rosalina cried, and she lifted her hand to summon one of her lumas. The star-shaped creature bobbed in the air, and then shot straight at Bowser, scattering the seagulls like bowling pins.

“Is that a pile of clothing?” Peach asked, frowning. Rosalina raised her arm in an arc, and the yellow luma zoomed in circles around Bowser, taking the clothes with it. Bowser was left with only Ike’s shorts flapping pathetically on one of his horns as he looked up at the two women, stunned.

“Bowser?!” Peach screamed. “What are you doing here? Were you spying on us?”

“No! I was sleepwalking!” Bowser roared, backing up a little as he scrambled to his feet. The cover story was no good; soon, Rosalina was sending him flying with a well-aimed luma.

“Let’s get out of here!” Peach huffed, and the two princesses gathered up their things. The five spectators sighed in relief.

Once they were sure the women were gone, Ike dashed out from behind the rocks and started gathering up clothing. “Let’s see… Lucina, are these yours?” He held up a pair of rather skimpy underwear, and Lucina swore and glared at him.

“Mine,” Falcon said, striding over to get them. Meta Knight simply hopped onto the rocks, allowing Ike to do all the dirty work. Marth and Lucina were still hiding, from each other as well as from their lovers.

“Hey, everybody!”

They all looked up, and saw Dedede waddling around the corner. Meta Knight groaned. “What are you doing here?” Ike asked.

“Lookin’ for Bowser,” the penguin said. “He owes me some money. But what’s all this about? You guys having a party?”

“Uh… Not really,” Falcon said, but Dedede didn’t appear to have heard him.

“Some party!” Dedede said, laughing as he caught sight of the clothes all around. “I think I’ll join, too!”

There was no stopping him. He was out of his clothes and into the water in a flash. Lucina was glaring daggers at Ike, whom she blamed for the whole mess after he’d let slip that it had been his idea to come here. Ike and Falcon managed to hunt down most of the clothing before the others showed up.

“Hey, guys!”

“Come on, they’ve already started!”

“Oh, yeah, now we’re talking!”

With a sinking feeling in his gut, Ike turned and saw more people coming around the bend – Link, Shulk, Falco, Fox, Bayonetta, Palutena, Pit, Dark Pit, and Mario.

Meta Knight had already grabbed his cape and warped to safety. He was now watching from deeper in the jungle. Marth and Lucina were still behind the rocks, Falcon had only managed to get his underwear on, and Ike was still totally nude. Their clothes were still mostly scattered.

“Oh, jeez, is this one of those kinds of parties?” Falco groaned, taking in the sight of Ike and Captain Falcon.

“Why… Why are you guys here?” Ike asked Link as the blonde started stripping down to his shorts.

“Bowser said something about a beach party,” Link replied, digging in his backpack for sunscreen.

“I thought it was weird, since these stage maintenance modules can only transport a couple of people at a time,” Pit said. “But hey, why not? It’s a great place for a party!”

Shulk had arrived in his swim trunks, and dove into the water without hesitation. The others had also come prepared with towels, umbrellas, and beach bags. Sonic, Pac Man, Mega Man, Zelda, and Luigi were soon joining in, followed by the Animal Crossing villagers and all of the Koopalings. Ike hadn’t been able to find his shorts, but he wrapped his cape around himself like a towel, and proceeded to sort through the rest of the clothing. He couldn’t see Marth, hidden as he was, but he could almost feel the prince’s glare on him.

By the time they had tracked down and sorted all of their clothes, almost every other person at Smash Castle had joined the party. Nobody noticed as Lucina, Captain Falcon, Ike, and Marth slipped away with most of their clothing still bundled under their arms.

“Well, then,” Lucina said curtly, grabbing hold of Falcon’s hand and yanking him towards the plaza. Marth held Ike back, and looked towards the trees. Meta Knight soon emerged from the shadows, fully dressed.

“Let’s go,” Ike said, and the three made their way to the transporter. They found themselves back in the maintenance room, and a sandy trail on the floor told them that Lucina and Captain Falcon had already cleared out. As there was nobody else left in the castle, they didn’t feel the need to use Meta Knight’s cape, and simply walked to Marth’s room.

That impromptu beach party became something of a legend at Smash Castle. As most of the stages weren’t subject to the passage of time, it lasted for several days of nonstop sunshine. Partygoers cycled in and out, napping in the shade and going right back at it when they woke up. Nary a Smasher was to be seen for nearly a week, save four swordfighters and a pilot. Afterwards, people could talk of little else but the food, the music, the surf, and the sun.

As for Ike, Marth, Meta Knight, Lucina, and Captain Falcon, they would never speak of Delfino again.


End file.
